SodaHead - Anjirocks's Blog

this life, it ain't worth living...

2008-11-19T05:13:49Z

+15 raves

why do things have to be so hard??!! i've been on prozac for 5 years, a double doze for 4 and a half years, so when i plunge into a deep depression after losing my job what more is there to do?! i'm already depressed, i can't have anything more done for me. i often felt i was too depressed to even work in the first place yet i forced myself, even when i ran out of medicine and had gone without it for 2 weeks and cried in the toilets 3 times a day and bought a knife in my lunch break... then they let me go, i feel so useless... there is no point in getting out of bed, i'm always tired anyway. went out and got drunk tonight, planned to throw myself in front of a car but just my luck no cars went by. been fantasising about jumping off something high, doubt i'd ever go through with it but it just seems there's nothing to life, what's the point in staying alive?! i'm sorry for bothering you all with this =( hell, why do all my SH blogs amount to the same thing; i feel depressed and suicidal?! sucks, i'm sick of it. wrote a new poem and put it on deviantart, too emo for my liking but it's there. http://www.little-miss-quirky.deviantart.com as always, if you can't say anying nice don't say anything at all. love for my friends and anyone else bored enough to read this <3

Soooo damn depressed...

2008-11-07T16:27:08Z

Anjirocks

+24 raves

so in September i got a job, it was on a casual contract meaning they could let me go at any time if they no longer needed me. i was off sick with a stomach bug today and they just called to say that "my services are no longer required". i feel it's my fault for taking too many sick days. we've been waiting about a month for new staff to start at the office but they haven't started yet and without anyone new our office is understaffed. i'm scared in case they let me go through some fault of my own. i didn't even like working but i am soooooo depressed now, i am in too much shock to even cry. i don't know what to do. in the UK 1.5 million people are currently unemployed and that number is thought to rise to 3 million in the next few years. it's going to be really hard for me to find something else, even though i have a degree. i'm worried and feel so useless =( =(

Carpet Burn

2008-10-05T03:37:40Z

Anjirocks

+12 raves

This blog serves no real purpose. so don't go bitching at me. i just slipped down the stairs twice!! when walking down them in the same go!! methinks the wine and vodka has got the best of me..... but i don't want to go to bed because my man (whom i share a bed with) has been a dick all day; possibly because he doesn't like my (local) best friend and she has been here all day because she is going through a crisis, she is about to be made homeless AGAIN through no fault of her own and he has no sympathy. fucking hell he's just a dick sometimes; for most of the day he ignored me and then when i asked him why he said "i'm just trying to concentrate on my computer stuff, is that a problem??!" in a really pissy way. yes it is a fucking problem; we're supposed to be a couple and share everything yet he gets in these moods where he pretends nothing is wrong when it obviously is.... it's stressful and i don't know if we can survive when he won't even speak to me =( it doesn't help that there are so many fucking dickheads on sodahead. i recently found out because of one of the polls i posted, it makes me mad enough to leave, there are SO many asshats and bashers here, and i am so easily upset that i will cry over what someone on SH said to me.... pathetic i know..... anyway, if you made it through this pile of drunken shitey whining you get a gold star. please apply within.

Celebrations and New Beginnings

2008-09-22T17:33:45Z

Anjirocks

+11 raves

just a quick blog since i am so tired that i feel sick.... first day of working at my first job today, i am REALLY not used to working hence i am absolutely exhausted!!! came home and cried because i'm so tired =( they had me on my feet doing filing all day long, my leg is totally killing me!!!!! was meant to be going for dinner and cracking open the champagne tonight tonight, it's my three year anniversary with my man (hence the name change!) but i'm way too tired =( =( it's only half past 6 but i'm heading to bed!!! hope everyone's well, hopefully speak to you all soon when i don't feel as though i'm dying! xxxxx

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-18T13:38:52Z

Anjirocks

+28 raves

so those of you who know me will know that i've been looking for a job since i finished university in June. well i had an interview with a local council last Friday and they just phoned to tell me i've got the job!!!!!! *screams and jumps around madly* my first proper job ever!!! i start Monday!!! so less time to spend on sodahead but more money and not having to feel like a useless slob anymore! i'd better not screw this up!!!! please keep your fingers crossed for me!!!! *runs around happily* also need to figure out where the office is... hmm....

[Funny and Random] Soundtrack to my Life

2008-09-14T17:09:53Z

Anjirocks

+1 raves

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A FILM, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool... Opening Credits: Bob The Builder (LMAO!!!) Waking Up: Shock The Monkey - Coal Chamber First Day At School: The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang (why?!) Falling In Love: Christie Road - Green Day Fight Song: Close to the Flame - HIM Breaking Up: Through The Fire and Flames - Dragonforce Prom: Gone With The Sin - HIM Life: Hope Leaves - Opeth Mental Breakdown: Suicide note Pt 2 - Pantera (accurate!!) Driving: Where Have You Been? - Reel Big Fish Flashback: Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne Getting back together: Solitary Man - HIM Losing your virginity: Parallel Universe - RHCP Wedding: Fisherman Blues - The Waterboys (LMAO!!!) Birth of Child: Too Bad - Nickelback (haha!!) Final Battle: Death of Seasons - AFI Death Scene: Bittersweet - Within Temptation End Credits: Road To Acceptance - Green Day

No More Miss Nice Person

2008-09-08T00:46:57Z

Anjirocks

+18 raves

i am THROUGH walking on eggshells and watching what i say just to try and please everyone, both on this site and in real life. i've always wanted everyone to like me and been so hurt when they didn't. well you can't please everyone and if people don't like me, fuck 'em. their loss. i have some great friends on this site and i'm not going to tone myself down to try and reach the people i'm not friends with, it's not worth it. i try to be nice to everyone and yet i still get shit on. what's the point. anyway, that's the rant of the day over =D (although i really want to i am NOT going to apologise for my language! it's MY blog!) ~*~*~ BE YOURSELF - THOSE WHO MATTER DON'T MIND ~*~*~ ~*~*~ AND THOSE WHO MIND DON'T MATTER!!! ~*~*~ xxxxx

yay, i finally have internet again!!

2008-09-04T18:08:46Z

Anjirocks

+13 raves

well that was the longest 2 weeks ever... (what do you mean you didn't notice my absence??!! LOL, joking, i doubt anyone did!) we're all settled into the new flat now, took a trip to ikea yesterday to get the finishing touches!! almost everything is in place now! the job now is cleaning the old house so that the new person can move in!! i am never moving house again, it is far too much hassle! so what's new with you all?? i missed you!! i spent last night in Edinburgh visiting my best friend, it was great! then came back an hour ago to find i had internet and 1650 new happenings, argh!!! so sorry if i don't reply to some things, i had over 1000 shared polls that i just had to clear!!! oh and i still have no job. and i stayed in bed instead of going to the job centre on Tuesday so they've not given me my unemployment benefit.. should phone them but just really cannot be arsed with them anymore, they're making it difficult for us to transfer to the job centre in our new city, how hard can it be??!! just want to find work and not have to bother with them anymore!!!! hope you're all well!!! any news?? xxx

Moving Day....

2008-08-19T12:27:02Z

Anjirocks

+6 raves

is on Thursday!!!! we have an absolute boatload of stuff to pack and sort through in a day and a half!!! and once we're in there will be no internet for a week!!! how will i survive?! lol. so i'm sorry if i don't reply to people or check all my new happenings, i just came back from up north and had to clear a lot of happenings then too because there were so many =( i'll be back on track soon i promise!!! oh and anyone who wants to come to Scotland and help is more than welcome, LOL!! i'm a weakling and can't lift heavy stuff and my father in law has gotten a leg infection so can't move much =( thank goodness for the removal van people!!!! xxxxx

Going away for a week

2008-08-11T20:45:51Z

Anjirocks

+17 raves

hey everyone, i'm off home (250 miles away) to see my mum tomorrow (Tuesday) and will be back next Monday. i haven't been home in a while and next week we will be busy moving house then i really really need to get a job so if i don't go now i don't know when i'll next be able to go!! every time i talk to my 5 year old niece on the phone she gets mad and shouts at me to hurry up and see her, lol!!! aww, i miss her!! also going out with some friends on Saturday night, really looking forward to that! i love going out at home!! i only have pay as you go dial up internet at home which costs loads and takes a year to load a page so i doubt i'll be online much!!! speak to you all next week, take care and have fun, Anji xxx