SodaHead - Celeste-o-bot 9000's Blog

Hawthorne Heights looses a bandmate

2007-11-26T03:49:35Z

0 raves

Today is probably the worst day ever. It's with our deepest regrets that we have to write this. Casey Calvert passed away in his sleep last night. We found out this afternoon before sound-check. We've spent the entire day trying to come to grips with this and figure out as much as possible. At this time we're not sure what exactly happened. Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. We can say with absolute certainty that he was not doing anything illegal. Please, out of respect to Casey and his family, don't contribute or succumb to any gossip you may hear. We don't want his memory to be tainted in the least.

Casey was our best friend. He was quirky and awesome and there will truly be no others like him! His loss is unexplainable. As soon as we know more we will let you know.

Sincerely
Hawthorne Heights
Eron, JT, Micah and Matt

R.I.P. Casey. . . .

Existential Anxiety

2007-11-23T12:51:30Z

Celeste-o-bot 9000

+1 raves

25 = Angst

	How do you compare?
	Score	Percentile
	0	15
	2	30
	5	50
	8	70
	10	85

The theoric constructs behind this scale and the interpretation i made
of it are biased towards existential philosophy and psychology, school
of thought to which i personally ascribe, understanding roughly for
this the existential belief that human beings are alone in the world.
This aloneness leads to feelings of meaninglessness which can be
overcome only by creating one's own values and meanings. We have the
power to create because we have the freedom to choose. In making our
own choices we assume full responsibility for the results and blame no
one but ourselves if the result is less than what was desired.

Existential anxiety has to do with the big questions of life, its
meaning and which is our place in it; to the Doctors Good and Good,
existential anxiety is about despair, alienation, and emptiness, and
there are people who suffer from such feelings, it certainly can be a
problem for some of them.

While, as you can see from the norms, the average score on the
existential anxiety scale was only 5, but the authors reported that in
their sample of 200 people, some scores were as high as 26.

In the past the world was a relatively predictable place. People grew
up in stable families, and they had a fairly clear sense of what their
roles in the world and society would be. Now we live in a changing
world, and a world in which every generation have less common
principles to embrace, long have been gone the flower children, the
excess of the 80's, and the already cynical "generation X" from the
90's. Is this sustained and rapid change in society plus the emergent
and evergrowing consumerism that try to cope with the lack of certitude
that have made difficult for people to know which is their place in the
world, and understand how they fit in.

Existential anxiety can be triggered by abrupt life changes, like the
death of someone close to us (persons who have made of being a parent
the main reason and sense of their life and then suddenly lose a
child), the loss of the self image (for example have made a very
important part of our identity our job and suddenly lose it, being the
best student and drop our grades, or build our sense of self worth
around our physical beauty and see it diminish); in all of these cases
besides the obvious pain and inherent difficulties implied in all of
these losses, there is a sense of loss of our place in the world.

This scale was constructed for research purpose only and not
for clinical diagnosis, if you feel like existential angst is getting
the best of you please by all means seek professional help,
selfawareness, responsibility and contemplation are healthy and
positive, endogenous or severe depression are not, this is not a
depression scale, and not every existentialist is depressive, but many
depressive people lean towards a quite high score in existentialist
anxiety, so if you got a high score in this test take a good look at
yourself, the only person who knows how much of this is because you are
a highly intellectual and/or cynical but happy person, and how much of
this is because you might be suffering of a condition that cause you
suffering and can be treated quite effectively if you give yourself the
chance of get help, is ultimately, you.

Bottom line: be yourself, live for yourself, be your own person and
remember that the control over your own life is ultimately yours, sure
being ultimately alone doesnt sound as the most cheery thought, but
looking at it the other way around, it also means that you are
completely free for build for yourself the life that you want to live,
and if you feel like somebody's puppet, is only because you are
allowing it yourself. "stick and stones may break my bones but ...." ;)

p.s: to those curious souls who are wondering how i did in this scale, i scored 4 = Angst.

UPDATE: the sample in which the table of scores was based was taken in
the 70's, with the stats that okcupid allow me to access I can't build
a new score/percentile table, but it seems the tendency of our new
generation of young adults is to score much higher in existential
anxiety than what the previous generation scored in that time, I think
(and this is just an asumption, dont have enough information to be
certain) that this tendency will go increasing, being paired with a
more educated population, but the fact that studying a career doesn't
guarantee anymore finding a job in the same field, an easier access to
information, and therefore more chances to develop awareness and a
critical point of view about the state of affairs.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

<img width=243 height=24>
You scored higher than 99% on Angst

What MCR means to me.

2007-11-12T03:12:17Z

Celeste-o-bot 9000

+3 raves

So many people think MCR fans are faking their fandom, that they don't take it seriously and it has turned MCR into some kind of joke to many people. It frustrates me so much when people bash them because they mean so much to me. It's like attacking a close friend of mine, even though they are not friends of mine at all. People ask me how a band that makes music that they don't like could ever possibly save someone's life. Well, believe it or not, there are people who like things that you don't and it means the world to them, so step outside yourself for one measly second and take a look at how other people feel, not just through your own narrow-minded scope.

To put things plainly, my life was going nowhere fast. I had been a fan of MCR for a while before they saved my life. It wasn't until I graduated high school that my depression became so bad that I was suicidal. My life was going nowhere fast. My family life was awful and was getting worse, my faith was all but gone, I was in a school wasting my grades, money, and time with something that I didn't even want to do, all for someone else. I ran away from problems, ignoring them until they became too hard to bare. I was letting my family control my life and I didn't like the way it was going, so much that I was sure being dead was better than the life that I was going to end up living. I needed some kind of support, someone who understood what I was going through and to tell me that it could get better.

Enter MCR.

My friends were helping a lot too, so not all of the credit can go to MCR for saving me. MCR's music just made me feel better. I watched Life On The Murder Scene so many times because Gerard's story hit so close to home that I was instantly sucked in. I looked up to him in so many ways, he had overcome so much to be what he is today and he's happy! Their songs showed me hope, and helped me find the strength and courage to face my situations, and take control of my life. They helped me see what I wanted to do and that it was okay to be the 'real me.'

Here I am, alive and in college, trying to achieve my dreams and goals. I honestly don't think that I would be here at all if it were not for my friends and MCR. My family life is still bad, if not worse than before, I'm trying to pay my own way through college and trying to move out into an apartment with my friends. Life is about to get much more difficult, but I know that things will get better, that not everything is as hopeless as I see it sometimes.

So, thank you my best friends.

Thank you My Chemical Romance.

I draw strength and courage from all of you every day, every time I feel depressed, every time I feel like giving up, you're there, you always will be. I could not ask for more in life.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3