bh

I wonder if Brooke shields is sitting around in a strip club right now eating a pickled egg looking at a stripper saying 'yeah I could do that'. Well bravo Miss Shields.

Salsa......good music, fun snack.

Yet another installment to say FUCK YOU in the life of a Nick. Have you noticed when walking by a accaintence you often get a 'How you doing?' or 'What's up?' These people can Fuck right the hell off. In no way shape or form are they expecting a replie. They just keep walking. If you offer a response......they just keep walking. Its what I call a polite rudeness. Well you know what? Fuck you 'How you doing?' guy!!

Sometimes my inner voices give me a brilliant idea to run with. Here it is:

A little known fact in the 80's we sent army food packets to africa. Can you guess the outcome? Follow me on this...... At the time these proverty stricken bettys were use to around a 250 calorie diet a day. The gourmet instant food we sent them had around 3000 calories per serving. Guessing the outcome now? Think human popcorn. Sad but funny as hell.

So, heres my 'fix it quick' idea. Ramen noodles. Now I know what your saying, "That Nick, Not only is he good looking. He's a genius!". Not only could we provide food for these narural runway models. We could build huts out of Ramen noodles. That way when they get hungry, just break off a brick.

My new slogan...'I'm Ramen for Africa".

As it is probally understood by now I have a problem with cashiers. I don't hide this fact. I feel they're smug. Anyways, Here's my latest edition.

I get out of my truck at the local crapmart. No not the same one. Open my gas cover, insert the nozzle. I then procede to select the grade of gas and payment method. So far so good. The gas then starts to leave the gas pump and enter my trucks tank. Following so far? Simple premise. Anyways getting back to the story. I then procede to try to put my 4 dollars in. Yes I have to try to hit that exact dollar mark. Yet it never happens. Suddenly out of no where I hear 'READY ON 1!' Once again the exact dollar mark passes me by. So while I'm searching my truck for spare change. I think to myself. I wonder if these cashiers have secert meetings planning on how to destroy my sanity.

So my question is Do they really need to tell me the pumps ready? Better yet, Who was the moron who stood out there staring at a gas pump only to complain nobody told him it was ready? "Im sorry sir. We'll make it a frickin point to tell everybody from now on the pumps ready!"

I feel theres alot that could be done with crack. Alot of room for improvement if you will.

Flavored crack-Crackheads dont eat much. Pot roast flavored crack would go over big.

Flouride coated crack- Keep those crazy crackheads from losing all their teeth.