Dear Friends and Whoevers:

Please know that I only write to you in dire distress and disarray. The Leprechaun and Elven Union of Confectionary Workers of the Milky Way (LEUCWMW), which includes the Oompa Loompa Delicacy Collective (OLDC) is considering a strike against me - Willy Wonka, Inc., LLC., Corp., Inc., Etc etc etc. Here is a picture of the LEUCWMW leader - Madam Wizz.



Madam Wizz and her Union are requesting that I actually pay the Oompa Loompa in currency - cash - money - moola - can you believe it? The original agreement when I rescued them from the whangdoodles off the island of Loompaland was to pay them in cocoa beans but since I have included all the chocolate and candy they could ever eat. Just because I don't allow them to leave the factory should not be a bone of contention - I mean their poor green faces and short stubby bodies in the warm sun would certainly cause them great harm. Besides - look who they like hanging out with - of course they did free me from the Slugworth prison - http://www.sodahead.com/blog/8899/

http://bp3.blogger.com/_IOZaqALicQg/R17hvMkPYQI/AAAAAAAAALI/W...

So, as for now I have moved into Connecticut Cindy's Chocolate Cellar. She allows me to wear chocolate clothes and sprays my hair with candy. It's a sweet life thus far. In the evening I sing to her karaoke style - i like the safety dance



Afterwards we read books from section 636 - Animal Husbandry - and make up fantasy stories about the mating habits of animals. Aw - it is so great to be with someone who really understands sappy, sugary, sweetness. Then it is off to the cellar to reflect on life's lessons and be showered and cleaned for bed. Although I miss little Oscar Oompa, Cindy is a nice change of pace - wooing my heart, lungs, and liver.



So feel free to leave advise in dealing with Elvens, Unions, Health Care Issues, unrequited chocolate love, and recipes for chocolate insects ... or whatever else strikes your fancy.

My sincere apologies to Ms. Unmistakably Liz http://www.sodahead.com/blog/7138/ and Summer aka Nina. I'll get back to you as soon as I can - I promise - hey have I ever steered you wrong before (besides that one time I mean).

Gamman - aka Wonka

It is I Slugworth - I have taken over Gamman's SH with his pitiful image of Willy Wonka.

For those who care - he is doing well in the jail cell of gummy worm cell bars - he'll never escape - he's not that bright.

I never received a dime from that chocoholic codfish of a capitalist. Never a dime - I tell you. But now I have it all - the candy, the chocolate, the dry wall sense of humor - okay maybe not that but who cares - I have the SH - the SH and all of his SH women too!

Just try to stop me, just try!!!

Whereas a certain Unmistakably Liz changed her name to Mrs.Gamman last week thus entering into a SH RELATIONSHIP with me and
Whereas the same erstwhile Mrs.Gamman then went into hiatus for the weekend without communicating with me and
Whereas she did set up a wonderful poll about me http://www.sodahead.com/question/91581/ she did dump me but a few days later and
Whereas she then went right after a certain MR. ANGEL and posted a mushy poll about him http://www.sodahead.com/question/93182/
Therefore I sue for SH damages for now fewer than 250 raves to be paid within 30 days of settlement of this SH lawsuit.

Well, whew! I am approved for another year - well technically I now have a 3/5ths position from July 08 - June 09 so I'll have to find a part-time counseling job somewheres

So it looks better than before.