My husband has tightened my budget so much I can no longer visit the sites I enjoy daily. I will have a limited time that I can sign on. I am already trying to find another part time job but gas prices and the wear and tear on my old truck is a bit much. I swear just when I think things can't get any worse the do.

I was disallowed further food stamps and am a month behind in my mortgage. My husband is hateful and harsh towards me. I just feel like giving up. I couldn't have a family of my own and now my husband is distancing himself from me and rejecting me. So I have to try and work harder. I know God and Jesus are on my side but it would help if I got a hug once in a while.

I guess I should be happy for all the blessing my husband's family has received but I don't. They are good people and I'm not jealous of them. I love them all. It's just that I feel kind of let down. My in-laws bought a new truck today and celebrated my father-in-law's birthday, my eldest step-son and his wife are having a house built that will be done on my birthday in September, and my youngest step-son and one of his girlfriends is going to have a baby in November. I should be grateful to God for blessing my husband's family so richly but, I kind of feel left out.

Also with my husband moving to the city and me staying here with the dog, it seems like I really don't belong with my husband or his family anymore. I'm on my own and alone.

It's sad. I feel so sorry for my husband. He called me earlier to discuss the situation of him living in the fancy house and me living here. I know he's upset and disappointed but so am I. I married him almost 20 years ago. I thought his life and the American dream of being free was important to him. It hurts to see him pack up and move into communism. He may see it differently but as far as I am concerned any place that tells me I am welcome but my dog isn't, is someplace I don't want to be or live for that matter.

That's right I got my dog back! I realized if the dog wasn't welcome in the house then I wasn't so I told my husband I wasn't moving to the city with him and if we divorce then so be it. It will be a up hill battle with no money and my parents feable support as they spoke to my husband early this morning and back pedaled to the moon on promises to help me. That's okay I am strong and I know how to read, write, and pray. I'll not be alone in my situation God and Jesus will help me when no one else will.

I just got off my cellular phone a little bit ago after talking to the person that gave me the mock GED test. She told me, I need to take another test as I won't be placed in class. I thought I may have upset the young lady that was assisting the mock test group somehow and she had me thrown out of the class.

My mock test was graded and it seems I passed. They just now want me to take the real test with other students that have been through the GED course. It's freaked me out a bit but I'll pray and hope for the best.

It was wonderful. We walked up and down the strip, when to Clingman's Dome. The room was upgraded to a suite due to a error the motel made. We had romantic dinners, and rode the skylift. I got several decks of playing cards for my collection. My husband was sick with a cold so I wouldn't shall sodas or kiss with him but I did on several occasions held his hand.

We promised ourselves to find a way back there and to other resorts. This waa incredible! A band played country music on the street and we went to the car museum. I wanted to stay forever!

We leave Friday night to see Gatlinburg. I can't wait, I've never been to a resort town or to Tennessee before. My husband says we will have a lot of fun and he told me that I can walk all over the town and buy little pretties to bring home. He also gave me a shopping list of things we will need to take. He mixed up the driving direction because he has the state of Kentucky on the list. I hope we get there in time to check in and that it doesn't rain.

Monday I will be seeing my Gynocologist due to having some pretty severe pain. It's like a red hot iron being stabbed into my left side and incompassing my left ovary. I am not to keen on any surgery but I am hoping that I can be medicated to ease the pain.

My puppy son, Travis Spencer, had a epileptic attack and passed away. My step-son buried him in my back garden and I need time to cry. I love that dog like he was a son but as he was in his seizure I pleaded with God to take him to heaven as I was powerless to help the poor creature. Please pray that my dear little dog's soul is happy in heaven.