I don't know if I got a second chance
But I got plenty of drugs
They keep giving me more
They say I'm a bore
But they keep taking my soul
I'm dreaming about how I'm gonna live
I don't have anything left to give

I'm just living
If you call it that
Call it something
I don't feel I have anything
I'm just marking time
Don't know how much I have left
Maybe it's better I don't know
Maybe it's better I feel that way
Maybe it's better if I just go away.

sorry to have fooled you guys but my poll question was not about me but regarding another SH. I get some hot polls but not that many all at once. I do a lot of polls but this person has done more than me.

Through The Fire
Through The Flame
You Are My Desire

Through The Darkness
Through The Rain
You Are The Only One Who Eases My Pain

This Time
I Will Go With You
No More Lies
Only Truth
To Be With You

Coming Home
Is All I See
Loving You
Loving Me
Be With Me
And You Will See
What You Mean To Me

At six this morning I awoke to a thunderstorm, very rare for San Diego. It was very loud. My mom checked on me. I said I was okay. but it was weird. I went back to bed.

I went back to dreaming...

I entered a room. Barack Obama was there sitting in a chair. it was just the two of us. I started talking. I did all the talking as he just sat there. I don't even know if he even noticed me as I talked anyway.

but this is what I basically said...

I said I am a Republican and I will be voting for McCain. But I told him if he wins I will still respect him because he will be President. I said I supported Bill Clinton even though he was a Democrat but he was the President so I did so.

So went my talk with Barack Obama.

I just want to put the last eight years behind me and us as a nation and move forward, no matter who will be the next President.

Peace

my heart was cut deep
don't know why
must have been a blood sky

I hurt so bad
I wanted to die
must have been a blood sky

trying to find reasons to live
it's very hard to try
must have been a blood sky

awoke in tears
all I did was cry
must have been a blood sky

are they laughing at me
I don't want to know why
must have been a blood sky

I just sigh
I just sigh
I just sigh

I see the blood flow before my eyes

my eyes are open
I see you
can you see me
the real me
without distraction
hiding behind these words
not so smart after all
because I outsmarted myself

waiting on you to set me free
was it just a dream?
or real?
something that I know to be true

beyond these games we play with our love
wishing to tell you how I really feel
but never could
never safe
never secure in myself

these thoughts drive me away from you
you keep coming back to me
I am resigned to be with you
you know my heart better than anyone

so I look upon you anew
your beauty calms my soul
we touch
it is enough
that I believe in you

I'm feeling sad

SH just isn't fun for me anymore

yeah I've got tons of raves and votes because I've been here awhile and it does give me a sense of accomplishment

I've met tons of great people here and you guys are the reason I'm sticking around

but it's tough...

I'm just trying to count my blessings and hang in there

my heart runs cold without you
where are you?
I ran away from you
did you leave me as well?

I am caught in my dream
falling down
ever downward
no end in sight

I realize I am meant to be alone
I steady myself against my fear
pray for guidance
and step into the light

I need you
like the slightest touch
it means so much
holding hands
a kiss
such bliss
being with you completes me

I see your smile it's all worthwhile
so I can go on
day after day
living the same way
happy and as free as I can be

For Jenn Beaver

okay I broke down and bought the Columbia Poetry Review today. went to Borders right after group. ten bucks. and I have no idea what those poems are about. LOL

it seems its all attitude. these poems don't "jump" out at me or tell a story...it's just the poet's point of view...words crafted together. They must have some merit because they got published but when I was in college when I was in English Literature poems were poems and I knew what I was reading was good. now...help??? all I know I tried the Atlanta Review twice and I got turned down.

I'm just going to have to try harder in my quest...

thank you everyone for your support...