I always wanted to be GREAT! I disagree with what was said in part of it, because I have a different outlook on LIFE and GREATNESS. No one knows how GREAT they are or even that the potential is there. No one understands the significance of their life. How it affects other people and how other people affect them. The people who know what they are is the opposite, the idiots who don't have a clue, they are well aware they are losers so they attack and harm (usually unprovoked). They are the LOWNESS of earth. Greatness according to M-W.com means remarkable in magnitude, degree, or effectiveness.

The people out trying to be great are the ones who most of the time fail. The people who are living their lives the best they can ignoring that small inner voice more often end up "GREAT"! I think most people stumble into it. OK, here's where it gets weird.

GREATNESS is not something that we need to try being. HELPING OTHERS is what makes individuals great. The doctor who finds the cure for AIDS isn't going to be out TRYING to be great, he or she is going to be TRYING to HELP!!! This person is going to be a person who has dedicated their life to helping people, they might even be looking to cure them self. Either the right funding comes along and they are CHOSEN as the doctor who finds the cure, or they stumble across what the cure is. People who succeed are the ones who don't over-try, but who have a passion for something. I am currently living my life in "Conspiracy Theory" but the more that happens the worse it gets. Please pray that something will change for me dramatically. I know these sound like the ravings of a crazy man in some ways but just to quote the fact - STROKES are the leading cause of death in America CANCER is the second largest cause. (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/lcod.htm) I have blacked out due to the device and due to it being able to control my temperature etc. The radiation shot into these devices can LITERALLY shut down a CD player. If you are experiencing problems, my guess is the gastro area is an area you need to get checked. I guess I hope someday that I can actually stumble into something GREAT without others doing interfering where yet again it just happens! I hope that in reading this you are not sitting there taking it lightly. PAY ATTENTION to what goes on around you and you will see for yourself that someone who appears intelligent may not be. It might be an Artificial Intelligence due to a device. LISTEN CLOSELY to your friends EVERY WORD and you will find it humorous when you realize I am not kidding!

I grew up in a very closed-minded Christian home. Everything I wanted to do was wrong. I could not listen to contemporary music, I wasn't allowed to go to movies, and I couldn't hang out with friends one on one as a general rule. My childhood wasn't miserable just difficult. My brother was different from me. He was one of the stars on his basketball team, popular with the guys at school hanging with the other jocks, etc. Everyone knew him and he loved the limelight. I was the quiet person who very few knew. I was happy that way! I wasn't allowed to play sports, I got cut from JV at a small Christian School and went on to play intercollegiate at the college I went to and we were GREAT! Every dream I had as a child was stomped all over. The reason I was okay with my life in High School, being one of the few obvious gay guys, the girls loved me. I also have a very close group of 4 friends that would have been there if I was in trouble! I would rather have had those 4 friends than everyone in the school watching me if I screwed up. I STUMBLED into "GREATNESS" if you want to call it that. My life has affected more people than I ever thought. There are problems with stumbling into greatness. There are huge things that people suffer due to greatness. I did not want to be chosen for the "Greatness" that I was chosen for (I will explain later).

At the age of 11 I started having sexual encounters with people. My best friend in 5th grade came over and mentioned a game that he wanted to play! In 1989 I played a game called "Truth or Dare" with my friend! In 1990 my father got a huge promotion out of the blue for no reason, he became the VP of a large company! They created Madonna's image out of a game that I was involved in. She made her "Truth or Dare" appearances in 1991. I am NOT a Madonna fan by the way. They sexually exploited 2 11 year old boys. I have realized since that every major female's image and music is written about my life. They create two images at a time. One of the writers is objective and views me attractive and someone they want to know. The other one, possibly my father, views me as "gutter trash" and the images seem to be broken up that way. Most of the men's hits also revolve around my life. IT IS SOMETHING I DID NOT WANT. It is not a greatness I could have accomplished on my own. I am referred to as an "innocent" which coming to realize now, I am one of the few who isn't controlled easily. They send in people who have this device and have those people be abusive to see how I will respond and then write music about it! I have always wanted to be a musician/vocalist, and I've wanted to act. My dreams were shattered back in High School when I won state competitions to go to nationals, and nationals would allow me to compete. IT DID NOT MAKE SENSE! I was hurt and it hurt others also that our dreams weren't able to be lived out. I was walking in the shadow of my own greatness without knowing it. The next biggest "greats" from my high school/church were Cher and Angelina Jolie. The high school I went to also had many famous celebrities come out of it, it was attached to a church where many other famous people were. This is part of what the greatness harmed, I wasn't able to live my dreams while they were in front of me with all the potential in the world. I am very family-minded. Want a family and the sacrifices that were made to create so many images were things like not having a father who was there and supportive. Also Entertainment has taken the American family away from being families like the used to be! We no longer gather around on the porches with a guitar singing together, we no longer have "FAMILY'S" the way we used to do to Entertainment and technology. I HATE BEING THE CHOSEN ONE!!! At least at the moment :)

5 1/2 years ago I was in Iowa and had a surgery. It was supposed to be taking genital warts off but that isn't what happened. They went into my gastrointestinal area and did something (my guess is an implant). During that surgery the doctors did not do what they said they were going to do - they put me under anesthesia for 4 hours, when I woke up I had been ripped all open in my back end! The implanted a device to cause pain and torture. I have survived so far and hope to continue moving forward with my life. I find that looking at what the truth is, there is greatness, that I was CHOSEN for.

I have realized now much more than I can explain about the implant and how it affects people. The government has a way of reading everyones minds, implanted at birth to the best of my knowledge (at least most of the people I come in contact with have them). Most people don't notice. I was talking to a guy and he was clueless how stupid he was. We were talking about wine, and in the middle of it clear as day mid sentence made a comment something along the lines of "I'm stupid" and continued without even knowing what he said! IT WAS HILARIOUS. I was walking through the mall one day when this 300 lb b!tch and her friend came around a corner and ran into me. Apparently her "inner voice" (implant or whatever it is) was yelling at her "EXCUSE YOURSELF" and without understanding she was being told to excuse herself she yelled it at me instead of apologizing for her rudeness. I made it very clear what I thought of her disrespect, quite rudely and moved on. Now 8 years later I am working in the same office with her. She is a very sweet person from what I can tell, it was just her repeating what she was told telepathically instead of doing what it was telling her to do! One night I was laying down on my bed and my ex looked at me and said "It's not all about you." I was confused. Looking back I understand his voice was telling him that I was clueless about who I was, that he had used me to make a whole lot of money and that while I was struggling with life at that point he needed to understand I was going through very small things compared to what's happened since, but that he needed to love me as much as I loved him. Instead of listening to his voice, he repeated it. There are things that if you read this and pay attention around you, you will be entertained!

OK, so this will sound WEIRD. I am living that movie. Have you ever said something and caught yourself and said why did I say that? Have you ever listened to certaing idiots who mid-sentence scream "I'm an idiot" (figuratively) when the conversation sounds normal! In high school my old teacher used the term "Mindless Wonder" and it didn't make sense until 5 1/2 years ago when I had an operation in my gastro area. Someone put an implant in me and there is literal telepathic communication. America is controlled by these devices implanted as children. Most of us know it as our conscience, and it is implanted as a baby and people are used to it. Few others never hear this voice until a surgery or something. I have been living a nightmare and contacted government agencies repeatedly looking for help. The FBI says the device doesn't exist, the CIA hasn't commented, NASA refused to comment, local law enforcement doesn't acknowledge it because they are getting paid well to look the other way, but GUESS WHAT! THE FCC doesn't deny it, and told me to seek a physicians help in removing the device! STRANGE!!! Pay close attention to people you have conversations with and you will be amused! In my case this has been torture. Can anyone else relate?