Ive faced a few deaths in my short life time. Each one was significant at that time and painful but being that I was young; it made me niave and innocent to every passing.
I wasn't quite prepared to face this passing though.
On Wednesday the 2nd of July my Grandmother died suddenly.
That day will be forever ingrained into my mind, mostly because I told her I'd see her later (before I went to work) and then within two hours she was gone.
I knew she wouldn't live forever but I never expected her to pass so suddenly or so quickly. Our relationship was turbulent but I loved her and I know in her own way she loved me.
I think I've been through the worse part of this grieving period... but even though each day goes on and I go back to reality. I can't help but find aspects in everyday life that remind me that someone who played a huge role in my life is now gone forever.
No more late night chats or laughing while she made fun of the music I listened too (and band names).
No more early morning moans or discussing gigs and venues that I've been too.
No more war stories or family tales.
No more anything.
She was cremated today and I chose not to attend the service, We're hoping to have her ashes scattered up North along with my Grandfathers, I think that will be better way to say Goodbye.

Words can't describe how painful this lose truly is. I do hope she is in a better place.
Nobody teaches you the art of letting go.
I know that I have to let go, she lived her life and died the way she wanted too. I couldn't ask for more. apart from wishing she wasn't gone.
RIP Jenny, your greatly missed.

Txxx

(I hope this all makes sense...)

I'm off to enjoy my 20th. I can't believe I've reached my 20's. Bring it on.
Hope everyone is having as good a day as me.

Tx

"I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song, "I want you to want me." Boom. End of story....."