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So, I was searching Google Images for the term "SodaHead" and I found some seriously Old Skool snapshots of SodaHead in its infancy.

This is SodaHead.com in March of 2007




We've come a long way....and we've barely started!

I drive to and from work in Los Angeles traffic. Often, my driving routine is stymied but some bizarre traffic occulting force. This supernatural force is powerful, so powerful in fact that it can take 60 minutes to travel 7 miles!

To keep my sanity, I go through a series of behaviors. I talk to myself, I sing to the radio, I dial-a-friend, you know, the yuoozh (usual). But lately, i've picked up a new habit to kill the time: Nose-Picker Categorization or NPC, for short. My study, both scientific and unbiased, resulted in the following three categorizations of human nose-picker types.

1) The Pick-and-Flick - this nose-picker can often be seen with his or her driver's window in the down position. After a hearty nose-pick, this nose-picker will proceed to curl up its findings into a ball and isolate those findings onto one finger. Once aggregated, this picker will flick the findings off the original finger with a separate digit. Often, these illustrious pickings will find their way onto the side, and in rare circumstances the windshield, of some poor unsuspecting neighboring car.


2) The Pick-and-Stick - this nose-picker, prefers to store his or her findings for safe keeping, and is most likely uncleanly at home. After this son-of-a-pick completes his pick, he will take his finding and smear it, most often under his seat, so as to remove any trace or evidence of said pickings, leaving only a car detailer or the next owner of the vehicle a treasure trove of unique hardened pickings to be cultivated and later tested for e. coli.


3) The Pick-and-Lick - this nose-picker, quite possibly the most disturbed of all the nose-picking breed, has a, shall i say, "taste" for the un-ordinary. Post picking procedures often include an initial gaze at the findings, often with a besmirched look followed by a look of curiosity and in some bizarre and sickening instances, arousal. Once this wonderful example of a human being has made a commitment to their next move, there is often no turning back. These despicable pickers proceed to cautiously lick their pickings, seemingly savoring the taste just prior to a full ingestion.


But seriously folks...what is the deal with all of the friggin' nose-pickers on the 101? Have they no shame? I just wish these people would give their fingers and more importantly, their fragile nasal cartilage a break.

Is it only my city that suffers from such rampant nose-picking?

I am a firm believer in respecting thy toothpaste tube. In fact, if there were a religious cult that were to abide by the strictest of toothpaste usage rules, I would most likely be its god and my wife would most likely represent its anti-Christ.

So, you ask...what is proper toothpaste usage? Allow me to capitulate:

The wrong way, the wife's way
The wife squeezes it from any which way she pleases, top, middle, bottom with complete disregard to the non-uniformity it is causing in the tube. She irrationally believes it doesn't matter where she applies pressure, so long as the toothpaste exits that notoriously small round top and lands on her toothbrush. This small accomplishment, regardless of its long-term impacts, provides her with a satisfactory end result. And far worse than the irresponsible squeezing, is the total disregard for the cap...as though its purpose presupposes her own and is not worthy of its function in life, namely to re-cover the toothpaste tube and prevent bizarre toothpaste crusties and hardening. This, THIS...she always manages to forget, ALWAYS!

This seemingly small and inconsequential act of not replacing the cap, in my opinion is the greatest act of toothpaste blasphemy one can incur. Allow me to explain. The negligence of cap resumption results in the crusty-hardening of her toothpaste changing its intended genetic make-up of a quasi-liquid into a rock-hard solid. Then, when she returns to brush her teeth at a later time and attempts to use her toothpaste, she has to squeeze the ever loving sh!t out of it just to create enough momentum so that the quasi-liquid toothpaste can break through past the crusty-rock-hard toothpaste. This has the potential for two catastrophic results:

Catastrophic Result One (1)
The pressure from her squeeze is so great that the small rock-hard toothpaste, which has now essentially replaced the cap's function of covering the toothpaste, flies forward at speeds so unsafe that small children should not be near. This crusty-rock-hard piece of paste is then jettisoned towards the mirror while the quasi-liquid toothpaste follows closing behind it, shooting out at all over the counter leaving a major mess and wasting perfectly good toothpaste.

Catastrophic Result Two (2)
She manages to apply minimal pressure allowing the crusty-rock-hard toothpaste to move up and over just enough to allow the quasi-liquid toothpaste to get through. However, when these two non-amicable forces meet a bizarre toothpaste bubbling ensues, which when left uncleaned (which is always the case) results in only a stronger more fierce crusty-rock-hard toothpaste cap thereby increasing the likelihood of Catastrophic Result One (1) taking place.

Now, is it just me, or does anyone else see the counterproductive nature of such actions?


The right way, the Adi way =)
I, on the other hand, squeeze from the bottom of the tube, so as to ensure that I utilize every every last bit. As the toothpaste tube flattens on the bottom end, I proceed to fold it, thereby increasing toothpaste productivity by orders of magnitude. And I, of course, screw the top back on my toothpaste tube to avoid the horrific crusty-rock-hardening that my wife seems to look forward to so much.

You see, I respect the toothpaste and think of it as my super hero sidekick in cavity, gingivitis, and plaque fighting. For that matter, I treat my electric toothbrush with the same level of respect (I won't even go into how sorry I feel for my wife's toothbrush..the poor fella never had a chance; we nicknamed it buckwheat, if you can imagine such frayed edges).

Conclusion
There was only one logical solution to these distasteful actions....purchase separate toothpaste tubes.

While I recognize that its not a cost-efficient strategy, it offers a multitude of benefits, least of which is me keeping my sanity!

A Request to My Fellow SodaHeads
This blog is a fun-spirited rant on the funny little things in life that you notice. Share your toothpaste stories with me. Tell me, am I mad or am I sane? Are there others out there with spouses that indulge in bizarre bathroom behavior?

Be sure to leave your comments and suggestions in the Contact Us link at the footer of our site or in SodaHead Groupies Discussion: Suggestions and Comments on SodaHead.

Until I see you all tomorrow...enjoy telling us What's Bubbling in your head?



G'night....

How appropriate I am on the beach laying on a floating bed on my iPhone surfing wifi Internet writing my first SodaHead blog. Missing everyone and loving my time here can't wait to see you all back online next week!

Adi