Question
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Parenting
My son is pushing me to the edge of insanity.
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Answered Undecided
It depends on how hard you are spanking. You do need to think before
you act. If you can spank without leaving a welt, or bruise then thats o.k.
If you hit and leave marks then thats to hard. I was spanked with a belt as a
child a few times and punished with no outside play and the no going out
hurt worst then the beating!! Time out in a chair or setting in the middle
of the bed for a few minutes should work or if the child in old enough
take away the outside play for a day or two depending on age, and
also behavior can be controlled through diet , sugar,caffine,dyes in food
can cause children to be wild and also lack of rest can too! Try to remember to count to ten and begin again....... -
Answered Undecided
As a mother, a grandmother, and an elementary teacher, I know that using violence to correct a child's behavior is not needed. I can say from lots of experience that children want to be good and accepted by the society around them....if they are allowed to feel safe and accepted by their society. However, parents must begin from the birth of their child using guidance methods that redirect a child, with consistency. The must be vigilant in this program, just as a gardener must constantly tie up a vine and guide its direction, a parent must gently but consistently guide and direct their child. When a child grows to an age where they begin to make choices for their personal actions, they will continue the path the parent has put before them. However, if parents ignore a child's behavior until it finally wears the parent to a frazzle, the child will become confused when the parent finally decides to take action. They will not know how to stop a negative action before it culminates in tragedy, because they were not given consistent guidance. Now add to this confusion a parent who hits a child, or uses a weapon (such as a belt or paddle board) on a child, after the parent finally grpws tired of a negative action...and you have a child who will continue to grow with the idea that life requires the use of physical punishment, instead of growing up with ingrained guidance perimeters that allow a person to control their own actions. They learn to be hurtful, not good! -
Good input from a trained professional. I spank my children, but have always done so since birth and it works very well. I agree with your points as well as spanking or any one sided justice will invariably make em more rebellious and stubborn than they already are. Once they can talk the other options are more conducive to improvement and spanking becomes a threat that is more effective as such.
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Answered Yes
its abuse..don't do it..count to 10 or put yourself in your room for a breather, At the same time restrict your child to his room set a timer for whatever age appropriate time. Small children can't comprehend time so a few minutes is a long time to them..
Violence begets violence and hitting your child is an act of violence.
Peace -
Answered Yes
Well folks, yes it is. I'm 61 years old and remember several times in my youth when that type of activity took place and it was pretty common. Didn't seem to hurt me a bit.
However, I'm also a foster-parent and have spent years trying to break the cycles of violence that our kids have lived through.
There are better ways of getting your child's attention. -
Answered Undecided
I left the comment below answering a similar question on sodahead.
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The point in discipline of this nature isn't pain. You are getting their attention. It doesn't tickle but it shouldn't be excruciating. Kids ask for discipline. They are looking for boundaries. If you spank your child in anger you’re doing it wrong. You spank your child because you love them. As their level of understanding increases the point is, for the lack of a better word, humiliation in an effort to humble the child. Your heart must be correct when disciplining your child. The side effects could be very harmful.
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If your child is older (4+) and has never received discipline in this manner he might have a difficult time understanding it. A belt to a bare butt might be a little harsh if you have never spanked the child (might be harsh anyway depending on how hard you swat him). My mom used a bouncy ball paddle a few times. You know the one with the rubber band and the ball. It was pretty effective. It stung, made a lot of noise and got my attention. It never really hurt for more than a few seconds.
I use my hand on my child with her diaper on. I don't want to hurt her and don't but, it gets her attention. We didn't have the intent on spanking unless it was very necessary. She wouldn't respond to anything else. I think it hurts me more than her to spank her. I know it is the correct thing to do by her response. She will ...I left the comment below answering a similar question on sodahead.
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The point in discipline of this nature isn't pain. You are getting their attention. It doesn't tickle but it shouldn't be excruciating. Kids ask for discipline. They are looking for boundaries. If you spank your child in anger you’re doing it wrong. You spank your child because you love them. As their level of understanding increases the point is, for the lack of a better word, humiliation in an effort to humble the child. Your heart must be correct when disciplining your child. The side effects could be very harmful.
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If your child is older (4+) and has never received discipline in this manner he might have a difficult time understanding it. A belt to a bare butt might be a little harsh if you have never spanked the child (might be harsh anyway depending on how hard you swat him). My mom used a bouncy ball paddle a few times. You know the one with the rubber band and the ball. It was pretty effective. It stung, made a lot of noise and got my attention. It never really hurt for more than a few seconds.
I use my hand on my child with her diaper on. I don't want to hurt her and don't but, it gets her attention. We didn't have the intent on spanking unless it was very necessary. She wouldn't respond to anything else. I think it hurts me more than her to spank her. I know it is the correct thing to do by her response. She will either hug me a few minutes later, say she is sorry or both.
I can remember many spankings as a child and they really didn't hurt. I was embarrassed more than anything. Some children don't respond to spanking. DON'T spank him out of anger or with the intent of "hurting" him. Some are more affected by isolation, being sent to their room or a neutral area. You must read your child and watch their response in order to know if it was effective. You might need to isolate the child, cool down and spank a little later. If you do this make sure you explain the reason for the spanking BEFORE you spank him. You are correcting behavior not inflicting torture!
Hope this helps.(less) -
I think the firm discipline that I received at home made me the strong man I am today. My mom was very consistent and she ensured the punishment fit the crime.
Now that I am an adult me and all my sisters praise her for what we have become.
My Grandma also used a paddle on us when we mis-behaved.
It's all out of love!
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Answered Yes
Well if discipline hasn't worked, try spending more quality time with him. Just the two of you sometimes. do guy things. time out and a normal sounding voice (no yelling) works better than a belt, but you have to stick with it and get past the newness, takes patience. when he respects you
(not out of fear) he will want to behave. -
Answered Yes
Yes. while many children greatly lack discipline, using a leather belt on a bare butt is just plain cruel. The Bible teaches us to discipline our kids. It's our responsbility. But, parents who need to resort to using the belt either have no restraint on their anger and it makes them feel better to physically damage something (in this case, their own kid), or they have seriously missed the fundamentals of parenting. Spanking happens - yes. Not with a "instrument'. tell the kid "NO" from Day 1 - teach them right from wrong, bring them up in the way they should go, and put your belt back on your pants. -
Answered Yes
I am not opposed to using a belt if the situation calls for it, but on a bare bottom seems a bit over the line. You have to consider the age of the child too. For some kids spanking is very necessary, I think it is best to discipline a child when they are still "moldable" rather than ignoring bad behavior and risking that the child only get worse as they age. -
Answered No
My mom is a cop and she knows.It's not child abuse but I think it should be posted ILLEGAL IN ALL COUNTRIES< ISLANDS< EVERYWHERE AND ANY WHERE ! In fact three weeks ago my mom beat my but with a wooden mixing spoon.If I had a butt knuckle she probally would've broken it. TWICE ! I'm actually surprised that she didn't break the mixing spoon. She broke a mixing spoon before while beating me just cuz I wouldn't get up. It was a freakin teacher workday.My butt was sore the rest of the week. -
Answered No
You know why teen violence is on the rise?
NO DISCIPLINE!
Humans have been around thousands of years, and until recently, children got spanked with all sorts of things. I was personally spanked with a leather belt while I was growing up. It didn't make me hate my father or mother, turn me into a mass murderer, or make me socially unacceptable in anyway.
Children today have too much power, which leads to too much control, which has put us in our current crisis.
Teen pregnancy is a huge issue, but parents are powerless to do anything about it, or their own children will call 'Big Brother Government', make up a story of abuse, BAM, they get their way. Not only does this not teach discipline, ultimately we are creating an entire generation of people who believe if you don't like something, ask government to fix it. Thats SOCIALISM, people. The government should not interfere in personal lives, ever. It is not their place to do so. -
Answered Yes
yes.. a belt is made of leather and it leaves bruising and welts.. and sometimes hits where it shouldnt.. find a different way..I believe that there are better ways to discipline children when they are older.. when young a pat on the butt or fingers is ok..I was abused as a child and shudder to think of belts..