Sep 22, 2008 10:58PM GMT
Question
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Relationships - Families & Parenting
If you are married or when you get married, do you think you should share bank accounts or have separate accounts?
I am used to being very independent. Everything that I buy or have. I cherish and I keep care of. My sisters are always like can I borrow your shirt? and I am always like as long as you take good care of it. lol. So anyways getting back on the subject, When I am married I understand you become as one. I am ready to share and commit myself to my husband, but do we have to share EVERYTHING! I think we should both invest a certain amount of money to one shared account to pay for bills, and take care of our family. On the other hand I think we should have separate accounts to buy what we want. What are your thoughts?
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raves +1 posted Sep 26, 2008 06:25PM GMT
Answered I think once you become married, you can still share, but also have separate accounts if you want.
75% of what you boht would've put away into your savings should go into a joint account in order to pay household expenses.
The other 25% should remain in your individual accounts for your personal items or personal payment like your own credit cards or your monthly manicure/pedicure.
I don't think he should have to pay for my splurges. -
raves +2 posted Sep 23, 2008 11:08PM GMT
Answered I think once you become married you should come as one, and share your bank accounts.
It is time to fully commit to one another, cant leave certain things seperate because it can cause problems down the road. Like the thought that the other is holding out, all kinds of little issues can surface from something like this! -
raves +1 Sep 23, 2008 11:13PM GMTYeah, it seems like everyone is split. I think you can compromise and then have something to yourself. Like if you like to shop a lot, or spend a lot of money. Good advice. Im sure besides adultery money breaks up relationships. : 0 ). How are you by the way? Long time no see my friend.
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raves Sep 24, 2008 03:42PM GMTI would say through my experience I would disagree and I will explain. Even though through marriage there is a commitment to one another and an explicit feeling of trust to share accounts and be one, there tends to be one person that spends more than the other. This can cause financial problems especially if important bills aren't being paid in a timely manner. The second is when you have only a joint account one person will tend to manage or control the account more than the other. Having a joint account where the majority or, in some cases, all the money is transferred to paying bills then money is contributed and scrutinized by both parties accordingly. A separate account is intended for personal purchases outside the scope of bill paying. I do understand about where you are leading with one person holding out and adding additional money into a separate account so the other is unaware. However, if the money that is being transferred into a personal account doesn't affect the joint account then it is alright especially if the person doing so is up front and honest about it. But, if they are not then it leads to trust issues in the marriage. In any case, if a person holds out on the other financially then that person is either untrustworthy or planning on leaving the marriage anyways. This is why I feel the solution to have one joint account for bills and a separate one for personal finances works well and is a better solution.
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raves +1 Sep 25, 2008 01:33PM GMTFurther down the comment ladder I have been posting comments and realized that each method can be done differently and there is no right an wrong way. In the first sentence of this comment I said I disagreed through my experience. So, it doesn't mean that the other person is necessarily wrong but I was trying to highlight why I choose that method. And.. You and your comment aren't wrong either. Neither is it a problem with one account. This is dependent upon the couple and how they have come to an agreement to pay bills and which method (either joint, separate, or a combination). For me, I have had a bad experience with only having a joint account and wanted to share my thoughts.
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raves +3 posted Sep 23, 2008 10:11PM GMT
Answered None of the above
With my first marriage when I was young I did the whole joint account, credit cards etc... The problem is that one person will always spend more than the other. In my case, my ex-wife went to the extreme and left me hanging once we got a divorce.
My current (second) marriage we have separate accounts and one joint account. I made sure that we could spend on ourselves with our own account but pay those bills together on the joint account. This has worked well for me and I would suggest it as well. -
raves +1 Sep 23, 2008 10:32PM GMTThat was my ex-wife's mentality. All I know is that 50 percent of that debt incurred was transferred once the divorce papers were finalized. And.. I know she can believe in the whole mine is mine philosophy when trying to pay those past bills. Matter of fact, when I check my credit report I laugh inside knowing how many years it took for her to pay back on joint accounts. Like they say, "What comes around, goes around". I hope she isn't doing the same thing again because then I would sympathize with her current husband.
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raves +1 Sep 23, 2008 10:45PM GMTI think there is always one person that spends more than the other. I think having open communication and focus on the needs first and then the wants helps out.
It could be a guy who spends money on computer equipment and sports gear or a woman that buys 50 pair of shoes and has to have the matching purse or other accessories.
Just getting the other person focused on the needs is hard. However, having no food or a roof over your head is decent motivation as well. I put things in terms of money goes to pay this bill therefore we eat and so on. You have to break that cloud nine spending habit early or else you are going to the poor house. That's my opinion. -
raves +4 posted Sep 23, 2008 07:52PM GMT (edited)
Answered I think once you become married, you can still share, but also have separate accounts if you want.
I suggest you always keep your personal bank account(s).
Maybe open a new joint account for household expenses or a savings account together for a vacation fund but definitely discuss who will cover what expenses and talk openly about finances regularly TOGETHER.... no matter how many bank accounts you guys have. -
raves +2 posted Sep 23, 2008 06:25PM GMT
Answered I think once you become married, you can still share, but also have separate accounts if you want.
I think having 1 account for bills that you both are on and then seperate accounts for yourselves is perfectly fine, it's not like if the other person needed money then you couldn't get into your account and help them out, but if you got divorced then you would have to consider your money and his money both of yours for the divorce settlement. -
raves +2 posted
Answered I think once you become married, you can still share, but also have separate accounts if you want.
I suggest you always keep your personal bank account(s).Maybe open a new joint account for household expenses or a savings account together for a vacation fund but definitely discuss who will cover what expenses and talk openly about finances regularly TOGETHER.... no matter how many bank accounts you guys have.