Question
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Lifestyle Choices
If your partner fails to mention a secret friend or an outing with a member of the opposite sex, should you be worried? If they are again hanging out with someone that used to like them and they didn't tell you that they were seeing this person, would you be worried? If they never told you anything because they think "it would upset you," is that cause for alarm? Or are you just f*n crazy?
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Answered There is more to this than a yes or a no.
A serious discussion, without anger or accusations is in order.
and a lot of things need to be looked at.. Do you get angry easily? are you naturally jealous? did your s/o spend time in a relationship of that nature before, and may be scared that all people are the same?
on the other side, do you think that there is something going on? and why weren't you invited to the outing?
You're not crazy. some people are just that disingenuous, and if things will work, total honesty and openness is needed, from both sides...
Answered A cover-up is definitely the same as a lie.
You two gave better advice than i could have imagined. I definitely get angry easily. Definitely get jealous. I do know though all people are not the same. We have been on and off for two years, so i think that we have had plenty of "breaks." With him, serious discussions are out of the question. 1. Because he never tells me the unadulterated truth, and 2. because he doesn't like talking about situations in which he might have done something wrong. The subject gets switched very fast. I respect his hard work throughout highschool, throughout college, and he landed a great job (btw he has been working with a girl for a year and a half, that he used to date, and he just two days ago told me about it), and can sometimes be a role model to me. Most of the time though i hate him because of his cover-ups, lies, prejudices, double standards, constant traveling for job, and because he ultimately puts himself before me in any and every situation imaginable. Which in itself, isn't always a bad thing, but when he hides things from me in order to save face and to be able to hang out with past flames, i find that shady, selfish and hurtful. I think a cover-up is the same as a lie, but i am f*n crazy and still there is definitely more to it.